she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize