He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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