12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
