Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
