Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
