Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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