They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
