i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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