I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
