All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
