I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
