So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
