He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
