well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
