It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
