I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
