Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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