I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
