I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize