I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
