so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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