Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
