All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
