Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
