I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
