it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
