walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
