he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
