You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize