I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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