I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
