I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
