yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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