"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
