Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
