dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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