I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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