chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
