I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize