how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
