ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
