I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
