i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
