god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just had sex on a roof
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
