I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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