margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
