It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
