I'm drive I can fine osifer
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
