It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
