Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
