I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
