Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
