how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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