oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
