i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
