My cat gives me a boner
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
