Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
