Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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