My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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