Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
