Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
