He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Oh god it's open bar.
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