i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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