I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
