i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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