that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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