yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
