I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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