i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
