just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
