Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
