This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
