im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
