I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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