Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
